Former Homeless Addict Finds Forgiveness, Recovery, Redemption

A man named Brett Boman and his family faced a series of hardships, including tragedy, drug addiction, homelessness, foster care, and surviving California’s deadliest wildfire.

Ten years ago, Boman never could have imagined himself as a drug addict living on the streets, but after his 13-year-old son, Skyler, was tragically killed in a car accident, his life took a dark turn. Skyler, who loved to run and was struck down while out for a jog, was declared brain dead and taken off life support just before his 14th birthday.

Boman, a widower and single father working hard to support his three children, turned to alcohol and drugs to cope with his grief. His life spiraled out of control, leading him to methamphetamine addiction and eventually living on the streets with his two remaining children, Vonnie and Junior.

After nearly two years of homelessness and drug use, Boman decided to make a change. He cleaned up and sought help at a homeless shelter, but struggled to stay clean due to the environment. With the support of a friend who had successfully recovered at The Salvation Army, Boman eventually made it into a rehabilitation program and began his journey to recovery. “He mentioned that after a couple of days, you feel weak,” he stated.

Eventually, he got himself admitted to the Salvation Army in Chico and started taking responsibility for his actions.

Mother’s Support

He reached out to his mother for help, explaining that he needed a place to detox before entering The Salvation Army. His mother came to his aid, allowing him to stay at her place until he could pass a drug test.

With his friend’s assistance, he secured a bed at The Salvation Army, and his mother took him there after he passed the drug test.

Boman described the withdrawal symptoms as challenging but not as severe as those from opioids.

He emphasized that meth cravings were present, but he stayed strong by reminding himself of his children’s importance.

“That thought kept me motivated,” he mentioned.

Seeking Forgiveness

Over the next six months at The Salvation Army’s residential facility in Chico, Boman engaged in work therapy, counseling, classes, and a 12-step program.

He expressed his willingness to set aside everything, focus on himself, address his anger and frustrations, and take accountability for his actions.

Meeting a tough individual who later became his sponsor proved to be pivotal for Boman. Initially disliking the person, he eventually found a connection after understanding the man’s tragic loss.

One of the exercises involved writing a letter to the person responsible for his son’s death to work through his anger.

Upon completion, his sponsor commended the letter and requested to share it with other AA groups.

Boman’s journey towards forgiveness led him to release his built-up anger and accept that the tragedy was an accident rather than an intentional act.

He stated, “I have forgiven the individual responsible for my son’s death. I no longer hold any resentment towards him. I empathize with his situation as he must live with the consequences. It was not a deliberate act, and I have come to terms with that realization.”

Spiritual Journey

In March 2023, Boman revisited the places he frequented while homeless, reflecting on his past struggles and growth. He returned to The Salvation Army, where he found solace and faith.

Having grown up in a religious family, Boman had a strong spiritual foundation but had his doubts over time.

He mentioned, “I have faith, though I do question it at times. I am a spiritual person and believe in a higher power.”

Reintegration Program

Upon completion of his program, Child Protective Services mandated that Boman prove his ability to be a responsible father before reuniting with his children.

Faced with a choice, he opted to join the Salvation Army’s reintegration program, allowing him to continue counseling and classes while seeking employment.

He had to work at the warehouse for two days a week to progress towards his goal. “He said that gave me three days a week to find a job,”

Boman, an experienced carpenter, secured a job with a local contractor building houses, saving money until he completed his second six-month program on Oct. 10, 2019.

After graduating, he and a friend from the re-entry program searched for a rental property and became roommates.

When Boman called a potential landlord, he explained his situation and asked for a chance, prompting the landlord to contact The Salvation Army program coordinator for a recommendation.

“He let us move in,” Boman said. “We just had to pay double deposit.”

His roommate eventually left, but Boman remained in the house, where he now lives with his children, having been clean and sober for six years.

Brett Jr.’s Story

Brett Jr., who was six when his brother Skyler passed away, felt the loss deeply as they were close.

He recalled their games together and the sadness he felt when he learned of Skyler’s death.

Despite the pain, Brett Jr. has learned to cope and move on, although he still wishes his brother was alive.

He also remembered his father’s struggles and how his focus on substance abuse strained their family, eventually leading them to stay with their grandma when rent went unpaid.

After living in different foster homes, Brett Jr. harbored resentment towards his father for many years, feeling neglected and overlooked.

When offered the chance to live with his father again, Brett Jr. was hesitant, fearing a return to the past.

Eventually, they moved in with their grandmother in Paradise, where Brett Jr. reconciled with his father after seeing him take steps to improve his life.

“It was only after he finally decided to fix his life that I actually decided to give him a second chance, because I started to miss him,” Brett Jr. said.

Vonnie’s Story

Vonnie also shared a close bond with her brother Skyler, and his death left a void in her life.

The tragedy took a toll on her father, who turned to substance abuse and withdrew emotionally from his children.

With friends and family stepping in to care for them, Vonnie and Brett Jr. felt the loss of not just their brother, but also their father.

The Camp Fire in Paradise further traumatized them, with Vonnie and Brett Jr. losing their home and belongings, but grateful that their grandmother and Junior survived.

As Boman worked to mend relationships with his children, they struggled with mixed emotions, torn between forgiveness and resentment.

While Junior wanted their father back in their lives, Vonnie grappled with anger and hurt, longing for her father despite his past mistakes.

When their father entered The Salvation Army program, Vonnie found some solace, feeling hopeful for their future reconciliation. “Because he wanted to be back in our lives,” Vonnie said.

“A lot of people who are on the streets wouldn’t really do that for their kids. I’ve had friends who’ve also had parents like that,” she said. “I’m happy that he went there and got better. I’ve definitely seen a big improvement from how he was before. Obviously, he’s sober. It’s been pretty nice.”

When she passes the homeless encampment and hangouts “where I know my dad used to sleep sometimes … it does kind of feel weird,” she said. “I’m just glad that he’s gotten better. I told him I’d give him one more chance after everything he’d done, and he has so far been pretty good with that chance. He’s been doing a lot better and taking responsibility.”

Her father, she said, has worked hard to earn back her trust, love, and respect, and her relationship with him feels much more “like the way things used to be” before her older brother passed away.

Insight Into Homelessness
Boman’s time on the street has given him insight into the lives of homeless people and why they’re homeless. A small percentage, he says, are there because of a catastrophic life event, such as job loss, eviction, or loss of a partner. Those are the easiest people to help and the most likely to pick themselves back up, he said.

Then there are those with mental health issues—most of them on drugs and self-medicating—who are harder to help. Most of these people don’t make any attempt to get help for their mental health, because getting high is easier, he said.

“These people need help, but nowadays they can’t be forced into treatment,” Boman said.

But the largest group of people are on the street by choice—choosing to keep using drugs instead of being responsible.

At the time, Boman fit into all three categories. He suffered a catastrophic life event, was masking mental health issues related to the loss of his son, and was doing drugs by choice.

Homeless Encampments
In January 2023, Boman testified at a state Senate Public Safety Committee hearing in support of proposed legislation intended to compassionately clear homeless encampments by requiring a 72-hour warning before an encampment sweep, but the bill died in committee.

Senate Bill 31, introduced by Sen. Brian Jones (R-San Diego), would have also required law enforcement officers to provide information to the homeless about shelters and mental health services available in the area and prohibit homeless encampments near schools, parks, libraries, and daycare centers to protect children.

Boman, an advocate for the homeless, has testified at other legislative hearings since then.

In June, the United States Supreme Court issued a ruling that allows local governments to enforce laws related to illegal encampments and homelessness, and California Gov. Gavin Newsom issued an executive order in July directing state departments and agencies to start clearing unsafe encampments.

A Second Chance
Though Bowman feels blessed to have been given a second chance, he said many homeless addicts living in the encampments have lost all hope.

“You could offer them everything in the world … to get clean and they’re not going to do it,” at least not without more deterrents and consequences, he said.

The first step to getting help—detox—is often “the most difficult to get,” he said.

More drug detox facilities where addicts can get clean before entering live-in rehab programs, like those run by The Salvation Army, are needed, instead of turning them away and expecting them to get and stay clean while they’re still living in a homeless shelter or on the street, he said.

The Salvation Army has one of the best success rates, especially for those who “stick around for another six months” and complete re-entry programs, Boman said.

Drug Crisis Worsens
About the time Boman got into treatment, fentanyl—a powerful synthetic opioid—had become more common, and more people he knew on the street were dying from overdoses. But the drug crisis has become even worse with xylazine—an animal tranquilizer known as “tranq” that is often mixed with opioids, he said.

“Now they’re mixing tranq with fentanyl and heroin, and Narcan does not work with that stuff,” Boman said.

Authorities still recommend using Narcan to save lives, because it’s likely the person overdosing has fentanyl or other opioids in their system even if they also took other drugs.

Hope and Happiness
Today, with the help of The Salvation Army, Boman, now 55, realizes he should have sought mental health counseling to deal with his grief, instead of using drugs to numb the pain and anger he felt over losing his son that day in May more than a decade ago.

“I’ve been able to move forward since that day,” he said. “I’ll shed a tear every now and then, but now I can talk about it, and I don’t get broken up.”

He has also re-embraced his passion for music and playing guitar, as well as pride in his work as a skilled and talented carpenter.

“Life is great. I’m the most responsible I’ve ever been,” he said. “I’ve got a savings account. I have money in my checking, I have money in my savings, and I’ve got a credit card.

These are things I really never had before. I lived paycheck to paycheck my whole life.

Vonnie, 20, has completed two years of community college and is excelling in university, while Brett Jr. is currently enrolled in community college, he said.

“My son is doing better in school now that he is with me,” Boman said.

“I’m a happy man,” he said. “I’m hoping to continue to make everything better for me and my kids.”

Can you please rewrite this paragraph for me?

Source link